omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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