so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Randomize
