just come out here and I will go home with you...
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
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