I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
