i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
