My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
