Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
