He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Everything about him screamed your future.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
