D3 body, D1 cock
Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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