Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
My bed smells like the plague
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