NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Randomize
