Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
