let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Use "feeling words"
Yay
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Randomize
