Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
All the doctor said was why
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize