i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
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