I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Randomize