That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
