I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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