pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
