I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Randomize
