that's an acceptable place to lick
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Randomize
