remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
