Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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