you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
