i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
i out mim tonsoeep
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