finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
