turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
