i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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