I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
