Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
wanna go halves on a baby?
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Randomize
