He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
