yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
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