her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
