Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
