she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize