just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
She told me I should be a condom model.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
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