I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
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