if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
