Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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