Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
