There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
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