just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
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