Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Drake has all the answers
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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