My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
