I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
