two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
It all started with a game of naked twister.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize