Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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