I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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