i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
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