He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize