He had one of those small greek statue penises
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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