I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
