your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
