So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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