arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
