I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I just want nice things and good sex
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Randomize
