dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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