He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
