Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
my sisters under your porch take her home
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
We don't watch enough power rangers
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Randomize
