She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
