we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I need to calm my uterus...
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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