i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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