I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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