He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
