If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
