Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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