i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Let's get the cat blown out
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
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