dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
