I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
