Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
He's on the porch naked. Help.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
