butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Semen is not good for contacts.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Randomize
