White coat. Heels.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
