What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
