SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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